Brief and rainy trip to PDX where I saw my daughters and attended a big women’s event.
As I sat in a sea of people listening to Abby Wambach, Glennon Doyle, and other women share their inspiring stories in an event designed to galvanize women into trusting their OWN stories, it struck me that what women love about Glennon is her raw, realness. She lives out loud and that empowers others who yearn to do the same—her message is: be yourself. Be fully SEEN, validated, held up. Use your power for good.
The audience listening to her was rapt and starry-eyed; she’s a great speaker: funny, engaging and intimate. No one cares that she struggled with substance abuse, body image issues, or had intimacy challenges with her husband. They would all be her BFF in a heartbeat. Yes, Glennon—tell it like I feel it!
Yet they hide their own secrets; even the ones that exactly match Glennon's stories. Fear keeps us separate. Fear knows only the past and protection and it works its way insidiously into our consciousness no matter how much we achieve or realize. Barbra Streisand has stage fright.
Civilization feeds our fears louder than ever these days. In the world of the internet everyone can be a critic, can be anonymous, can be righteously right. I keep coming back emotionally to the central tenet of gas lighting, which is: overwriting another person’s reality.
And that is always wrong. Because, as is taught in The Four Agreements, nothing others do or say is because of you. It is all a part of their reality, of their dream. In my dream, my reality makes sense to me. I already know it doesn’t make sense to you. I accept that. Your dream is yours, my dream is mine.
I forget that that is okay when I feel separate. When I feel connected, I get it—you Think Different. And I like that about you and I want to hear what you think. When I forget it, I feel small and I want to minimize your reality to make mine bigger. To make mine safer. To make mine 'right'.
The more we strengthen ourselves in our own realities, the stronger we are. When we try to be in two places or ten places to please others we are fragmented.
Glennon is a beacon for women because she knows herself and lives from that place. This freedom is not limited to NYT bestselling authors or other luminaries, It belongs to us all. And as women, our power is in knowing who we are and staying true to that.
Lots of people don’t like me or believe in me. If I pay attention to that, it just depletes me and I can’t be true in my work, relationships, or mothering. If I believe in me, then I shine like a lighthouse even to those who don’t agree with the source of the light.