Taming The Tiger--Use Envy to Grow

ENVY is a message to up level; it is the mild form of jealousy. Both are a contraction of energy, and if you nip the first in the bud, you won’t suffer from the second. We confuse the two, and harsh on ourselves for both, but let’s instead look at the lessons in each. 

When I experience envy, it is a wake-up call to me that I need to take my efforts up a notch, on my own terms. A member of my yoga posse was out of class from late spring through summer after blowing out a knee snowboarding. Now she’s back, and after a few tender practices she is nailing poses I am currently only approaching. I feel envy.  

As an empty nester, I feel the pang of no longer being a daily mom, and my Facebook feed is full of my friends’ lively experiences with their still-at-home kids. Also, Facebook, which of course tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth, makes it clear these families are all fantastically happy and don’t suffer the communication issues that sometimes trouble my own tribe. 

I feel nudged into action by these feelings of envy. I can’t bullshit myself that I am working hard enough in yoga, I need to kick it up a few notches. 

I can’t sit around mooning over other people’s kids, I need to live my own life and not buy into Facebook’s illusion. 

Instead of allowing the negative I look at both situations as inspirational, as opportunities for expansion.That is how I stay in my own hula hoop. I know I can work harder in yoga, and I want to. I need to set milestones and work toward them. And I know that when I was home with my kids 24/7 I yearned for the freedom I have now. Looking across the pasture in regret does not bring that green grass over to my side. I am here now, and being the best parent I can be means loving my children wholeheartedly on their terms, and not hanging out on Facebook thinking everyone has a better family than I do. 


JEALOUSY is envy on steroids. Jealousy is like there’s one pie and if someone else gets a bigger piece there is less for you. Your partner spending time with other people means there is less time for you, or that you are being left out. Your daughter develops a strong close relationship with another woman your age, and it eats you up inside. Your friends took early retirement and are traveling the world and you can’t stand to look at their pictures. Someone you know is newly in love and glowing, and you do not enjoy being around their happy vibration. 


I doubt you experience jealousy. I had to sit and think for a bit to come up with examples and I made all of those up; you are probably similarly evolved. But low energies can prey on us when we’re tired, over-burdened, stressed. And when they do, it’s incumbent on us to raise our frequencies. This takes disciplined effort. Do it when you hit envy, so you do not tip into jealousy. 


In yoga we practice aparigraha, which is non-covetousness or non-attachment. Envy is a mild head cold. Jealousy is a full blown infection.  Both of these constructs are built on the idea of LACK, which goes against the flow of the universe. If you are forcing, you are out of flow. If you are coveting, you are not in your hula hoop. If you are out of your own flow, your connection will be blocked; you will feel depleted. Flip your perspective into feeling inspired by what you see around you. If you want it, your soul wants it. Raise your own bar. Only you can do that. 

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